DANGIT!!!

So on Friday I went into work at 11 to help my boss. He wanted me to go home at 2, then come back at 4. For some reason, this small little act brought all the injustices from this job to my mind. I started thinking about how they kept telling me I was going to get promoted but had been pushing me off for about 4 weeks and how I would be scheduled for 4 hours but get sent home after one. So when my boss told me to go home at 2 I told him I was unhappy with the instability of the hours and that I had not been told whether I would be promoted or not. I told him I didn't know if there was anything he could do about that or if I should find a different job. he told me to find a different job. So i didn't go back. Now, once again, I am unemployed and stressed out.

I think I can get a good secretarial job and be fine, but I only have 160 dollars to get me through and I'll most likely have to use that for rent.

In other news, I am making friends. Levi worked at the laundry with me and Chelsy and me and him clicked right away. He is super cool. He totally gets my humor just like Chelsy and even when I feel like I'm being too weird, he just brushes it off. I can be completely honest with him which is so nice. He'll be good to have since Chelsy is leaving. The only problem is that we kind of had a thing for about a week so I don't know if I want to date him, or if it's just a result of being lonely and sad. Part of me doesn't want to start anything because I don't really see a relationship with him going anywhere, but part of me really does because out of all, and I mean all, the guys I've known, he's the one I can be most myself around. But I do wonder if I have the potential to be that way with anyone since I am so open.

I am trying so hard to like Adam. He is so perfect. Funny, charming, considerate, SMART!, whitty, and he is going to do so well in life. But there's just something holding me back. We'll see how that goes. We're going up to Snowbird with him this weekend. That will determine my feelings most likely. I'm really excited because he's supposed to buy a Kinects with the fun dance game. Apparently I was a persuasive factor in getting him to buy one. Because "you should have seen Gabby on the date last night. I have never seen her have so much fun and be so happy." to which he replied, "Should I get one?" I'm flattered that me liking the game so much held so much weight.

I curled my hair with the flat iron today. It looks really good. I am happy with it. It makes me feel pretty again. I hate to say it, because vanity bothers me a lot...A LOT.... but I think a contributing factor to why I've been feeling so down is because I don't feel good about myself as much since I cut my hair. I'm glad I did though. I don't want to be defined by the way I look. Even if I do feel better about myself when I look good.

Me and Chelsy just watched the "Teach Me How to Jerk" video. I really like dancing with her because I am much less inhibited now. I want to learn to dance well so i can feel confident when I do it. A guy who can dance is also very attractive.

Hm...that's about all I've got right now, or all i can bring myself to write. i get bored of writing pretty quickly.