New York and China

S....I guess that "S" is all I typed when I started this post. Way to slack Gabby. Well now it's the 17th. I just got back from New York last night. Let's start from the beginning.

First, Adam and I decided that while we were away from eachother, we would both fill out the questions in the book "300 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married," ps I hate capitalizing every word in a book title. So I've got mine. I'll start it soon. I'm excited but also really scared. Maybe not as much as I was before because now Adam knows everything. We put it all out on the table. It felt really good for me to get it all off my chest. It was like it was the last step in the healing process. Apologizing to the man I will marry for the times I wronged him. He was so sweet and understanding when we talked about it. It was hard, I'm always on the verge of tears when we talk about it. But we did it. And I think it made us stronger. I'm not as scared about him being gone now. It terrified me before because I'm so scared of him leaving me or losing interest like so many others before him. But now I just don't think that will happen. I trust him. He says he loves me, that he wants to marry me, and that he is sure of me. I trust that. I'm trying to get rid of all my worries but it's scary to do that too because what if he does come back and change his mind? Then I'll have shifted my focus to being with him only to have it all shattered. But I guess that's part of being with someone. Putting yourself out there and hoping for the best. He's so worth it.

So, New York. The flight was long. Not really but it felt like it. It was only four hours but I was getting antsy because I couldn't sleep. even with the little sleep masks and ear plugs they gave us. It was just uncomfortable. I think it was because I was trying not to move so Adam wouldn't wake up. He was sleeping on my shoulder for part of the time. I remember I moved and he woke up. He looked cranky but he looked at me, kissed me on the cheek and said he loved me. I told him I was glad he loved me even when he was tired and cranky. They served good snacks on JetBlue. Adam knows the guy who owns it. I approve of that airline. So we took the red eye at about 11:30 and got there around 6 in the morning. His mom picked us up. I was really uncomfortable in the car. I felt like I was intruding. I've never been a hugging kind of person and Adam kind of pushed us together when we met her by the car. Most awkward hug ever. my bag was between us at first so we had to put it in the car and then resume. It was funny though. The drive was about an hour long and I fell asleep a little bit. I heard them shuffling so I opened my eyes and Adam was right there putting my seat down. It was surprising to say the least. I like their relationship. They laugh so much. They're like old friends. Very sweet.

So Connecticut is beautiful. So many trees, so green. and the town they live in is amazing. it's so clean! I couldn't help but notice the difference. There are no people smoking on the sidewalks, no one scantily clad, everyone just looks nice.

His family was great. I really clicked with his sister Alyssa. She seems like the kind of girl I would be friends with. Very witty. And Sophie is just really cute. She is very innocent and sweet. I liked her a lot. On the ride home from New York, she was tired so she laid her head on my lap and fell asleep. It was really sweet. His mom is a hoot too. I see where he gets his sense of humor now. I think we will get along very well. And Eric, well, I already knew him. I felt like I was a little too sarcastic with him though. I felt kind of mean. Adam thought he was flirting with me so I think I might have picked up on that and was reacting defensively. But his whole family is awesome. I asked Adam if when we get sealed, if I would be sealed with his family too. I asked in a more vague form but that's what I was trying to find out. I want everything about him. His family included. I want them in my life. I want to be there when his sisters start dating or when they have questions about life. I want to be able to talk to his mom about everything and get her insights on things. She seems like such a together kind of woman. I could learn a lot from her.

Me and Adam had a really good talk in his hot tub one night. First, I love hot tubbing with him. It's so relaxing and nice and it's a time when we can talk openly and just....love eachother. We talked about everything. I told him all about my past and what I was doing to fix it. He told me his concerns, worries, and insecurities about all of it. I think it really helped us both get past it and work on moving forward. He told me he thought that my experiences, although not good, had given me a unique outlook on life in that I can see how things are when you stray from the path so I know what I'm working towards and am more devoted to that cause than many other girls. That made me feel really good about things. I love that he is so accepting and uplifting. I realized that I am having a hard time with forgiving myself. I hate that he has to deal with all these negative emotions because of the mistakes I made. I never even thought of them affecting him. But he is so right for me. I feel it so deeply. He is everything I need in so many ways. This being a very big one. He is helping me get through this, helping me to get past the point where I am so extremely sorrowful for my actions and helping me to move on and see that what i'm doing to fix it is a good thing and that I have worth in my Heavenly Father's eyes. It's really hard for me because I've been so focused on being sorry and sad and dealing with the repercussions of my actions. He makes me feel like I'm worth something. It's hard because he is such an amazing man. He could get any girl in the world he wanted, but he has chosen me. He feels that I am the best for him. And it's not because I'm smart or have done amazing things in the world, it's because he sees who I am. He sees me as Heavenly Father sees me and I am so grateful for that. He makes me a better person.

I was praying while they were passing the sacrament this morning thanking Heavenly Father for all the help he has given me and how present he has been in my life. And I realized that I am doing such good things right now. I'm in school, and doing well, I'm taking the sacrament again, I'll get to go to the temple again soon, I pray regularly and read my scriptures, I enjoy my church meeting so much, I'm kind to others, I'm motivated and so happy. The things that I'm doing now, that Adam has helped me to accomplish, are what I've always wanted to do, who I've always wanted to be. I am so excited for him to get back so we can start our lives together. I can't wait to marry this man. He is my everything. Other than that though, I bought Rosetta Stone and am learning Chinese so that I can talk to him when he gets back! I'm so excited. Although I hope I can say something a little more substantial that, "The girl is eating a green apple." There's not much meaning in that...Anyways, back to New York.

We did so much fun stuff! We got in on Tuesday and napped for a while then went to a Korean restaurant. The food was good and it was way different than what I'm used to (Pictured above). It was all things I wasn't used to eating but the meat was cooked on this stove on our table. Or...IN our table. Every table had one. So we would put raw meat on it and let it cook with garlic cloves and onions then all eat it. The waitress would come by and switch out the grill plates and cut the pieces of meat with scissors. You'll see that Adam is holding an orange. They had those there...it was a little weird but very nice with the meal. Fruit is nice because it isn't too filling and it cleanses the palate. Adam brought over a plate of them and everyone kind of grabbed at them so there weren't any left. So he left the empty plate and went to get some more. Side note, there was a Chinese girl behind and to the left of us that Adam thought was so adorable. He has a weak spot for them. Anyways, so he comes back with a huge plate of them and I was like, "Oh Adam! Look at her!" so he looked behind him and saw her an marveled for a few seconds giving me just enough time to put the new plate of oranges out of sight and replace it with the empty plate. he looked back and his face was priceless. It was super funny. After that, we went to a Chinese, French bakery and got pastries. We were all pretty full but as I later found out, they were really good. I guess it's customary to put bean curd in things in china so some of the pastries had it. I didn't try any of those but they said they were really good. Then we went back and watched Ratatoulle, such a cute movie, with his sisters and his brother. It was just his sister Alyssa at first. She was cute because she asked what we were doing and we told her we were watching a movie. She said oh, then kind of started to walk away, but then turned back and asked if she could watch with us. She seemed a little reluctant to ask, probably didn't want to intrude, but it was super cute. I said of course but warned her, "But...I'm going to cuddle your brother." She thought it was funny. Adam fell asleep. He's pretty cute when he sleeps.

After that me and Adam took a trip around his town. He showed me where he went to school, where he ran track, where he went on his runs, which was beautiful! I could get into running if my surroundings were that gorgeous. He showed me this amazing little place where he did his Eagle Scout project. He made a boardwalk in this little nature center. It was raining and I was wearing white pants but it was ok. My shirt covered me pretty well so you couldn't see anything. Not that Adam would be looking, what a gentleman. My hair got really wet but it didn't frizz out which was awesome. So we walked around there for a while going on some of the trail. it was kind of romantic because it was raining. We took refuge int he little gazebo thing but it was elevated so we walked up some stairs to it. We could see all the beautiful trees and flowers. The rain was falling off the roof all around us and he hugged me and kissed so sweetly. It was like a scene from a movie. I remember thinking, this would be a perfect place to propose to me...haha. Then we walked around some more and there was another really pretty place. It was an arch that was covered in ivy with flowers growing all over it. There was a hole in the top where the ivy separated and you could see into the sky. It was so beautiful. I don't think adam knew how much I enjoyed that. Afterwards we went and picked up pizza for everyone and all had dinner together. It was so fun. They all laugh so much. Dinnertime was awesome. I can't wait for our family to have that. This was the night we went hot tubbing too. That night was wonderful. I slept so well.

The next day we had a big breakfast with the pastries from the day before, granola, fruit, yogurt, orange juice (his family drinks a ton! there were like 10 cartons in their fridge!) and this yummy breakfast casserole his mom made. With us, his mom's friend from high school and his son came. They had flown in on the red eye just like we had and his mom went and picked them up. We think they might kind of have a thing going on but I don't really approve. Not that it's my place at all, but I already have so much respect for his mom and I know she could do better than him. he kept making all these dumb jokes that I felt required to laugh at. But his sister sophie warmed up to him right away. It bothered Adam a lot and I felt bad for him. So after breakfast, me and adam took a train ride to grand central station where we would meet his family. The car was too full and I had never been on a train. It was so much fun. I saved the tickets. It was neat to see the outside moving past us so quickly. It seemed confusing to me, I'm sure I would end up in a different state if I had to take the train. And it speeds by so fast when you're waiting for it! I bet people get injured a lot. Both me and Adam slept on the train, so tired from the day before and the plane trip. It was a nice little power nap. He was wearing his yellow shirt and bluish shorts. I love that outfit on him, he looks so handsome. So we got to Grand Central Station and he showed me around.

There was this thing called the whisper room where you stand in one corner and the other person stands on the opposite one. It's constructed so that you can whisper into the corner and the sound will travel over the arced ceiling directly to the other person. It sounded like he was right next to me! Or like there was a tiny microphone built into the wall. We chatted there for a few minutes until I said, "Hey guess what...I love you." He said it back and then we walked around some more.

We went to Bryant park and sat down int he sun on these cute little chairs they have.

We actually ended up switching spots because there were some hussies laying out on the grass in their bikinis and I made some joke about it, kind of annoyed at them because I didn't want Adam to see that, so we moved and it was better. I like that he's sensative to those things. We people watched for a while which was fun. He was sitting next to me and I put my legs up on his. He said he really likes it when I do that. I did it once when we were at a movie theater, as he brought up, and he said he liked it because it was like, "Ya...she's with me." haha, i like that a lot. He's proud to have me. And I him. We also had bought drinks at Grand Central Station. Water was super expensive and drinks even moreso. But we were really thirsty. They were on the ground next to us. Not a super important piece of information, but I wanted to include it. I want to remember everything. Then he called his mom and it was about time for us to go so we walked back and met everyone except his mom who was parking the car, at the clock.

Then his mom got there and we were on our way to take a train to the place where the Bodies Exhibit was. While we walked we saw a place where I guess a lot of people perform. There was a guy there playing a saw. He had a bow like for a violin and would move the blade of the saw up and down to change the pitch. He would wiggle his knee where the butt of the saw was to make it sound like vibrado. It was pretty cool.

We got on the train and it was annoying because it was covered in smutty pictures of Lady GaGa and her new album. Although the one of her as a motorcycle was cool. So we finally got there and went into the exhibit. His mom printed off the tickets for all the things we were doing that day and accidently gave the woman the billy elliot tickes instead. But we got inside and it was amazing! Sadly, we couldn't take pictures. It was all real human bodies that had been preserved almost perfectly. One that stood out was of a skeleton holding hands with a body, all muscle layer. It was from the same body too! Somehow they had managed to remove the skeleton and still keep the body form of the muscles. Amazing. It was crazy becaue you could see things like fingerprints, eyelashes, eyebrows, hair, even fingernails! They had something that showed slivers of the body like you would see in an MRI. I don't know how they got it cut like that. It showed what a cyst looked like too. That one was really interesting to me. It showed a rare case where there was one in the brain and I found out what a cyst actually is. It's where things that aren't supposed to be in your body...are. In some cases there's skin, hair, or even teeth! We saw one of those. Super creepy. Then there was this thing called the Brain Game where you would put on this headband thing and it would measure your brain activity. The point of the game was to try and relax and not think of anything. There was a ball in the middle of two people sitting across from eachother and you had a circle on your side and one on theirs. Whoever had the lowest brain activity would push the ball to the other person, kind of like tug of war. So your brain power, or lack thereof would push the ball and the person who got it all the way into the other persons circle won. Adam beat me...I don't know if that's good or bad.

There was also this machine where you could measure your weight, body fat percentage, blood pressure, and one other thing I can't remember. I found out I am fitness level in body fat which is good, a level below athlete, and underweight according to my height. But don't worry, I'm working on that (as I bite into a giant piece of pizza...nom nom nom...). Adam is very fit. He was only like 9% body fat. He runs a lot. I have ran twice this week, for the first time ever, so that we can enjoy that together when he gets back. My thighs hurst so bad...walking down stairs is killer. There was also a section on reproduction and infants in there. It showed a baby as little as 5 weeks! I guess they have a heartbeat then when they're only about the size of lint from your pocket! I learned that the placenta isn't a mush of food like I thought when I saw my mom give birth, but a collection of veins that give nutrients to the baby. It was amazing to see. It showed babies all the way up to about the size of a premie. It showed what it looks like when their bones develop and muscles. Even at 7 weeks, so tiny, you could see a little baby foot. It was amazing to see but also kind of sad. Although all the fetuses we saw were taken as a result of natural causes, not abortions. Still sad though. All the bodies in the exhibit were apparently asian although you couldn't tell. I guess there was some talk about that in an article saying that there was some suspicion about how the bodies were obtained. That they might have been convicts who did not consent. But it must have worked out ok because they were there. The human body is an amazing thing. They even had a body, or the shape of a body, that was all veins. It was very interesting to see where most of the veins clustered. Crazy stuff. After we got done looking at all the stuff, adam and eric, his brother, wanted to go back to the brain game. They got all settled in and there was a big crowd. At first adam was winning but then it was at a standstill because I guess they're both equally inactive when it comes to brain activity? The game has a tv showing the measure of activity of each player. The ball wasn't moving at all and they both had their eyes closed so I went up to adam and kissed him on the cheek. His brain activity immediatly spiked. He yelled "Dangit Gabby!" and lost shortly after. Everyone laughed. It was really funny.

After we got out, we went to the sea ports and saw the boats and all teh sales people around. There were these cool looking skirts that i went and looked at. The lady came up to me and showed me that they actually tied into over 50 different styles. It was really cool, but it was also 50 dollars. But then later, when I got home and my mom came by, she was wearing one! What are the odds? And she got hers for 2 dollars at salvation army. So glad I didn't waste my money. I'll get one for way cheaper. Then we decided to get a snack. I went to one of the venders that had a pretzel very clearly dispayed but I couldn't see they guy so the one next to him swooped in, he didn't speak very good english, and just kept motioning for us to come over to his cart saying, "yes? Yes?" He deserved our business. The other cart guy was just on his phone. So we sat down by the amazing boats and ate.

Me and adam talked about his family and watched sophie feed the pigeons. It was so cute. She gave them more than she ate herself. They were daring there! Not afraid of humans at all. There was one that kept spreading its wings to try and push the others out of the way. And these speedy little birds who had the pigeons beat by far. But they didn't eat as much so it worked out. Alyssa was throwing pretzel over her head to them wihtout looking and this one little bird swooped up and caught it midair! It was crazy.

Then we caught some taxis to take us to peir..49? I dont remember. One taxi completely ignored us and went to some business men next to us. Very insulting. Another stopped, asked how far we were going, then shook his head and drove off. Finally we got one and were on our way. I fell asleep again. We got to "The Beast" which is a speed boat that takes you on tours of the sites in a fast and fun manner. They told us to hold on when we were going really fast and came to a complete stop by doing a sort of hockey stop in the water. It was super fun. So I saw the statue of liberty and Manhattan island and all the bridges. The tour was only a half hour but it was really fun. Adam was funny when he explained it after. "I was confused when they told us to hold on like, what on earth could they do on this boat that woul-AAAHHHHHHH!!" He's so funny. Then we went to dinner at this place called Ollies. It was a chinese food restaurant and it was cool because Adam could understand everything they were saying. He said something in chinese to one lady and she looked at him really weird. We ordered a lot of food and shared it all over. They really liked the duck which wasn't bad, but not my favorite. I really liked the dumplings and the...pork of some sort. Then they had these awesome deserts which were like frozen yogurt in its coresponding fruit! The fruit, pineapple, mandarin, lemon, or cocoa pod, was hollowed out with it's flavor of ice cream inside. It was really good. Then we had our fortune cookies and when I opened mine, i laughed really hard. Me and adam were sitting next to eachother and it said, "Stop looking forever. Happiness is right next to you." How cute is that?? It probably sounded mooshy to everyone else at the table, i remember being a little self conscious because his mom was there and i thought she was looking at me funny, but it could very likely just be my imagination.

Then we went and looked around times square for a bit on our way to broadway.

Then we got there and watched the amazing Billy Elliot! It was so good. The dancing was amazing. A lot of tap which made me want to do it really bad. There were a lot of swear words, but other than that it was a great show. Now I want to see more. Specifically the Phantom of The Opera. But Adam said he would take me back there someday. I'm sure I'll get to see it.

Then back home we went. It was very late. We were all tired and eric was concerned because it didn't look like he would have enough time to get back to the house, get the car, and go pick up his dad from the airport. So we all went to pick him up. But we got some pizza first. New York pizza is awesome although a little more thin than I like it. Still great though. Traffic there is insane. Someone waited until the last minute to get into teh exit lane and side swiped the car pretty bad. We tried to pull over and exchange information but he was gone. We followed a car and Adam even got out at the stoplight to see if there was red paint on it but it wasnt the guy. It was really too bad. Adam;s mom was really stressed and it was nice to see how his family and him reacted in times of stress. He leaned on me for support and I really liked that. It was bad enought that his mom had to go to the airport to pick up her ex husband, not only to get hit by a car. I felt so bad. I wish there was something I could have done. But we got there safely and were on our way back to his house. Sophie slept on my lap and Adam on my shoulder. It was so cute. both of them are. We got home and went straight to bed, all of us exhausted from the day's activities.

The next morning I woke up to Alyssa coming in her room, the one I was sleeping in, to get clothes. I immediately became aware of the fact that I was drooling all over. Sorry Lys...Mostly on me though. Then I was awake and realized it was my last day with Adam so I went downstairs to his room, knocked really quitely hoping he was still asleep, and went in. He was curled up on his bed with boxing gloves behind his back. I was like, "Why does he have boxing gloves?? then I grabbed one and saw tehy were pillows. Nicely done pillow...nicely done. So I curled up next to him, big spoon style, and woke him up that way. It was so nice. He was so happy to see me. We cuddled for a bit then decided it would be awkward if anyone saw us cuddlign in a bed so we moved to the couch in the family room. cuddled for a while, then went upstairs to get ready for the day. We had some cereal and chatted with his mom. We talked about where I was from, my family, and school. Then we talked about her story and how she got where she is. I told her I thought her and my mom would get along really well. it was really hard to talk to her because I felt like everything I said sounded like I was just tyring to get to know her for Adam's sake. Not because I htink she's actually a really cool lady. Adam swept the floors while were talking and after we got done, she acknowleged that. So did I but in a totally stupid way.She said she was embarassed at all teh things she saw him sweep up. I was like, "Ya i saw that milk dud and considered eating it but decided not to..." Face palm. They both kind of looked at me crosseyed for a second then burst out laughing. Man I felt dumb. But it was funny. Then his dad came to pick us up and brought subway. I let eric pick out my sandwich because apparently my ham sandwich wasn't exciting enough. But he one he chose was really good. I even ate the tomatoes and onions on it. Willingly. Adam has made me like a ton of foods I alwasy thought I hated.

So we were on our way and ate in the car. Me and adam of ocurse cuddled in teh back seat. I would sneak in little kisses on his cheek when I could, no longer caring so much about if i got caught, as much as how I wasn't going to see him for a while. So we miraculously found 20 dollar parking and got to the game. Sadly, all the seats were sold out! Which I guess is crazy. So the only ones we could buy were 300 dollars. We didnt do that. Instead we went outside to the scalpers, which is illegal?, and bought 4 for 100 dollars each. I kept saying, you know we dont have to go to the game, we can go see other stuff! But his dad was dead set on it...that was hard for me. My ticket alone would pay half my rent or 2 months of groceries. Not even thinking about how much it was as a whole. But the game was fun. We won! Go yankees. It was really hot out there. But i got on the megatron for a few seconds. Me and eric and the two guys next to us. I didn't see, adam did, but it was short lived because we weren't doing anything exciting. Also,...his brother is special...There was a lady to our right who was so annoying! She kept yelling at the croud saying, "Creatures, creatures, wake up! We need your voices!" Or some crap like that. She had a very shrill, i've been smoking since I was 6, husky kind of voice and kept calling us creatures. I didn't like that.

 Anyways, so then his dad took us out to dinner. We had to miss the last part of the game to make the reservation on time. it was an italian restaurant and we ate outside. We had calamari for an appetizer and pollo marsala and some other mushroom dish for all of us to share. very tasty. Then it was off to the air port for me. Oh, before I forget, before i left, I wrote notes to all of them thanking them for their hospitality, especially his mom, and telling them how awesome I think they are. I wrote to alyssa that i will have to see her art sometime. i toldher that i was somewhat of an artist too and drew some dumb stick figure drawing labled "proof of my artistic talent" at the bottow. it was a sun, some weird grass, stick figure me and her, mugsy their cat, and a cello randomly floatying in the sky. Total 5 year old child motif. And to his mom i wrote how it's really hard to say anything because i don't want to seem like im sucking up, but that i think shes gerat and how her being strong for her kids is really aweome. How cool i thought she was. Then we were leaving soon and i got some tampons from her. We could hear her making a verbal cheklist in her room and when she said maxipad, chekc. adam was like, what mom? what was that? so i went in and asked if i could have a tampon. Adam kenw what was up so i had to push him out ofhte room. i'm glad that stuff doesn't bother him. it was super funny. she very generously gave me like 7.

So anyways, we drove to the airport, i slept on hi slap for a while, then he on mine. Then we were there. They let adam take me inside and we checked my bags and said goodbye. It was a simple goodbye, not long. Not a goodbye forever, just a see you later. I think i liked that. He told me that we should use this time to work. Not as a vaction. I don't know exactly what that meants but i am already working hard. I miss him already but like he told me, it's mroe of a warm feeling when i think of him than a painful longing. we're both excited for what's to come.

The plane ride back was fine. Slept a little. Sat next to two guys from new york. THey had the accent and all. Oh! SO did the concessions guys at the game. "ICE COLD BREWSKIES HEAH!" or "HOAT DOWGS....GETCHA HOAT DOWGS HEAH!" it was funny. They were nice. Let me play super mario brothers on tehir computer with them and charge my ipod. There was some turbulence and at one point, the plane suddenly dipped really low and i freaked out. It felt like the engine had gone out! But then suddenyl it was like we dropped out of the turbulence and it was fine from there on out. We landed and I gave andy, adam's friend we went to the korean bbq place with, a ride to provo. Turns out he lives like right across the street from me. I got lost on the back but recovered quickly and got there safe. Although I did almost drive into oncoming traffic....but I digress! Back home safe, in love, and missing adam but so excited. I'll see him soon and start moving foreward in life. He's studying abroad in beijing now and loving it.  My hand is cramping. UNTIL NEXT TIME!